Hello everyone,2020 saw the rebirth of my love for reading. Having not read a single book in 2019 and a total of maybe two books in 2018, the number of books I’ve read since April 2020 is quite remarkable. Here are a list of all the books I’ve read this year with some revised ratings as the more I read, sometimes I realise that a 4 star is actually worth 5 stars and vice versa. Before we get started, this is how I rate books; ⭐️ - Hate ⭐️⭐️- Dislike but has some merit ⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Kind of like/ okay/ somewhat indifferent to the book but glad I read it nonetheless ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Really like/love. I usually have some critique that prevents it from being a 5 star. ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - Adore What I read in 2020: 1. The boy, the mole, the fox and the horse ~ Charlie Mackesy - 5/5 stars 2. The choice ~ Edith Eger - 5/5 stars ***most powerful book I read in 2020. 3. My brothers name is Jessica ~ John Boyne - 0/5 stars *** I have never hated a boook more in my life. 4. Conversations with friends ~ Sally Rooney - 3/5 stars 5. Daisy Jones and The Six ~ Taylor Jenkins Reid - 5/5 stars ***** most enjoyable book I read in 2020. 6. Exciting times ~ Naoise Dolan - 3/5 stars 7. Dear Evan Hansen ~ Val Emmich - 4/5 stars 8. Northern lights ~ Philip Pullman - 4/5 stars 9. Why I am no longer talking to white people about race ~ Reni Eddo-Lodge - 5/5 stars 10. Sweet Honey ~ Cathy Cassidy - 4/5 stars 11. On the other side ~ Carrie Hope Fletcher - 4/5 12. Winters snow ~ Carrie Hope Fletcher - 5/5 stars 13. No one is too small to make a difference - 3/5 stars 14. All I know now ~ Carrie Hope Fletcher - 3/5 stars 15. Pride and Prejudice ~ Jane Austen - 4/5 stars 16. The day is ready for you ~ Alison Malee - 3/5 stars 17. This is the journey ~ Alison Malee - 3/5 stars 18. Eleanor Oliphant is completely fine ~ Gail Honeyman - 5/5 stars *** now one of my favourite books ever. 19. The dark between stars ~ Atticus - 2/5 stars 20. Superior: the return of race science ~ Angela Saini - 4/5 stars *** not for the faint hearted but the most important book I read in 2020. 21. Notes to self ~ Emilie Pine - 5/5 stars *** such a powerful read, one I found a lot of comfort in. 22. Milkman ~ Anna Burns - 4/5 stars 23. Sweetbitter ~ Stephanie Danler - 4/5 stars ***not a sickly sweet coming of age story. raw real & honest. 24. Me and my mate Jeffrey ~ Niall Breslin - 5/5 stars 25. Why can’t everything stay the same ~ Stefanie Preissner - 3/5 stars 26. Frankenstein ~ Mary Shelley - 4/5 stars 27. Out of love ~ Hazel Hayes - 4/5 stars 28. Life on high alert ~ Hannah Rainey - 5/5 stars 29. Where’d you go Bernadette ~ Maria Semple - 5/5 stars *** perfect escapism, a fabulous book! 30. Break the mould ~ Sinéad Burke - 5/5 stars *** should be read by everyone!!! 31. Secrets for the mad ~ dodie - 4/5 stars 32. Women don’t owe you pretty ~ Florence Given - 3/5 stars *** overrated. 33. Call me by your name ~André Aciman - 2/5 stars *** seriously problematic, cannot understand the hype. 34. Everything I know about love ~ Dolly Alderson - 4/5 stars 35. Jump ~ Daniella Moyles - 4/5 stars 36. Beyond the storm ~ Diana Finley - 5/5 stars *** simultaneously heartbreaking and uplifting 37. To kill a mockingbird ~ Harper Lee - 4/5 stars 38. Homebody ~ Rupi Kaur - 4/5 stars 39. Short stories in German for beginners ~ Olly Richards - 3/5 stars 40. How to break up with your phone ~ Catherine Price - 4/5 stars 41. One for Everyone: More poems I love ~ Compilation by Kathleen Watkins - 5/5 stars 42. The Thursday Murder Club ~ Richard Osman - 5/5 stars *** such a hilarious and unpredictable read. 43. Emma ~ Jane Austen - 5/5 stars 44. The Subtle Knife ~ Philip Pullman - 5/5 stars 45. Think Positive, Stay Positive ~ Summersdale - 5/5 stars 46. The Amber Spyglass ~ Philip Pullman - 5/5 stars *** his dark materials is the best series I have ever read. Thanks for reading, For in-depth reviews, see my instagram @somethingarosie
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Hello Everyone, TW::// Anxiety and mental health struggles
‘Positive Vibes only’ is toxic positivity through rose tinted glasses. According to my loyal friend urban dictionary,’Toxic Positivity’ is the belief that, "if you just stay positive, you will overcome any obstacle," to such a degree that you invalidate natural emotional responses and the person having those feelings. Meaning, in an effort to maintain *positive vibes*, one disregards and refuses to acknowledge the less pleasant feelings such as anger, anxiety, sadness or guilt. I want to explore my own experience of toxic positivity but I am eager to start this discussion on a broader level. Hello everyone,Something about that October evening. I had always loved to write and found it therapeutic. At this point, on October 14th 2016, I was stuck in a devastating storm of anxiety. I still believed it was something I could overcome alone because I had overcome so many other, ‘worse’ physical obstacles in the past. I wouldn’t attend my first therapy session until almost a year later, but something changed that evening. Something in me, something about me. I had an outlet for my thoughts, fears and midnight ponderings. I found an armour that would help fight this battle in my mind, and I tried it on. It fit like a glove. It still does. There was something about creating a blog that was the catalyst for everything that would happen over the next four years. Sometimes I think it is the only reason I am where I am now. Something about Róisin changed that night, but you all know her better as Rosie.
Hello everyone, When I was little (arguably I still am), I was incredibly insecure about my height. When I was in primary school, my height made me the perfect target for bullies because I appeared to be weak and unable to fight back. The thing about appearances is that they can be deceiving. I entered my teenage years and although my overall mental health went awry, my height became something I loved. It didn’t happen with the click of my fingers so it is necessary to rewind a little bit. When I was fifteen, I found out I was finished growing. I truly felt like it was the worst news I could have ever received (little did I know eh?). It probably sounds trivial to most of you but I was absolutely devastated, inconsolable even. The truth is, for seven of the eight years in primary school, I was bullied as a result of being short. I was conditioned to think it was a bad thing. I believed there was so much I couldn’t do and wouldn’t do because I was short. I now stand tall and proud, all 4 feet and not quite 8 inches of me, but I round up because nobody likes decimal points. I won’t lie, there are some downsides to it, because people have prejudices and are judgmental, but that is just a part of life. I see my height as a blessing.
Hello Everyone,Trigger warning:// infertility
Recently I read an essay from Emilie Pine’s ‘Notes to Self’, titled ‘From the baby years’. I was reluctant to read it because I had a vague idea of what the essay would entail. I was surprised by how much it resonated with me. An essay like this was exactly what I needed. I think it also helped that I was prepared for what I was about to read, unlike the nasty plot twist in Sally Rooney’s ‘Conversations with Friends’, which provoked one of the nightmares I get, now a lot less frequently than in the beginning. I wrote a post in May, explaining the backstory and the early aftermath of receiving news that I would never have biological children. It has been almost 11 months since I heard the news. How I feel now is vastly different to how I felt last October, February or May, when the nightmares were the most intense. In the wise words of Taylor Swift ‘I’m doing good, I’m on some new shit’, and I mean it. I really am doing well and I think I have accepted this card I have been dealt, perhaps as much as I ever will. But I still get angry sometimes, at the unfairness of it all. Pine articulates this in such an eloquent way. Having read her words, I felt compelled to write my own. Hello Everyone!Whenever people talk about finding themselves, it is always accompanied by air quotes, like it is this joke that nobody understands or a lame excuse for straying from social expectations. The journey and act of finding one's sense of self and direction in life, is a very real and necessary thing. It is something that happens once and a million times thereafter. Self discovery requires the individual to learn self awareness. A skill which is majorly overlooked and undervalued. There is a societal code of conduct on how to live life that *everybody* is taught to follow (school, university, employment, marriage, kids = fulfilled life). Self discovery opens up a new path which fosters individuality. Self-discovery is realising your dream job is no longer what you want and chasing the new dream without feeling guilty with fear of disappointing your younger self (this has been my most recent self discovery… I will talk more on this, later). Without self discovery, one is deprived of seeing the other templates of a life they could live. Self discovery is treated by many as this ambiguous, aloof concept. This needs to change.
At different pivotal points in my life, I have had to embark on an in depth analysis of who I was and what I wanted. I have always been a people pleaser, especially to my parents. I love them dearly but often what I want and what they want for me, are very different things. I think this is a common dilemma people face. Had I continued to live the life others thought best for me, I would be in a different college course, or possibly have dropped out because it wouldn’t have been what I wanted. I would not have met some of my best friends in the world and most importantly, I wouldn’t have found happiness. If you followed me in late 2016/ early 2017, you know I was struggling hugely with my mental health. If I had not taken the time to evaluate how I was feeling and the situation I was in , I am not sure where I would be right now. It takes courage to steer your life off of the beaten track it is currently on. Naturally, it is easier to stay where you are. However, nothing that is worthwhile is ever easy. There is bravery in acknowledging you are not happy. There is courage in making changes to your situation (and getting professional help if necessary). When I was seventeen, I created this blog. It was my outlet before I had the courage to ask for professional help. I don’t care what anyone says but that shit takes courage. It takes courage to fight your own brain every day and it takes courage to admit that to others. If this is you right now, I am incredibly proud of you. Keep fighting, you have no idea what the world will give you in four years. It has been four years since that point for me, and I have had bad times but created many more amazing memories. When I started college at aged nineteen, I had a new era of self discovery. Living away from home on week days and braving public transport which used to be a huge trigger of anxiety for me. When I received unfortunate health news last October, I embarked on another journey of self discovery (you can read that post at your own discretion). And over the last few months, when my Erasmus was officially cancelled I went on another voyage of self discovery. My degree is a liberal arts degree and I am studying two out of the three subjects I love most in the world - German and Music (the third being English but I chose a TEFL elective so I’m now a certified English Language teacher so I guess I studied all three...technically). My entire life I vowed to study music in college but I did not have an iota of what I wanted to do beyond that. Truthfully, I still didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life when I selected liberal arts as my course. I loved these subjects and picked this course, concluding that I will be a teacher and convinced myself that this would make me happy. However, I knew deep down this was not the case. I would be settling if I followed this trail. Would I have been miserable? No. But I would not have been content. In reality, fear was getting in the way of what I actually wanted to do. A fear of failure and a fear of being alone. Because the current plan I have, means I will have to move to a different country, alone, and that terrified me, and still does. As said previously however, nothing worthwhile has ever been easy. After graduating, I hope to move to Germany for a year, work (ideally using my TEFL degree or as a language assistant) and save money. Return to Ireland (or maybe stay in Germany for this part of the plan too, who knows!) and get a masters in applied linguistics, and ultimately become a translator. This is a plan that excites and terrifies me in equal measure. Since last October, after coming to terms with the fact my life was never going to fit the given template of living, with children out of the picture (I do want to adopt, but establishing a career comes first), I have a new found sense of independence and freedom. Recently I was talking to a neighbour of mine, who also studied foreign languages as a degree. I told her that I didn't see the point in studying a language if I am then going to stay in Ireland. She explained that she thought the same at my age but then she got older and had children. My path in life is going to be different to most people and I am finally embracing the many positives to come from quite negative circumstances. If I did not search the depths of my soul, identify my fears and then face them, my outlook on life and my happiness would be profoundly different. If I had not taken the time to ‘find myself’, in air quotes, I would not have come to the conclusions outlined above. When people talk about finding themselves, listen. It is important. Stop treating it like it is an out-of-touch, cliché, coming of age movie. It is okay to be confused about where life is leading you and what direction to take next. The number one thing you can do is be true to yourself. Most importantly, do not be afraid to change everything. It might be the best thing you ever do. Thanks for reading, Rosie Hello everyone,
Due to Covid-19, my Erasmus is no longer going ahead. Instead, I will be undertaking a programme provided by my college, at home. I will have a maximum of ten days on campus, throughout the whole semester. The rest of the programme will be completed online. There are stronger forces at play that nobody can control, which have resulted in these circumstances. I understand that. This does not, however, diminish the fact I feel very unmotivated and lost at the moment. I am enjoying reading lots of books, watching disney movies and going on the odd day trip but other than that, I have not done much. There are things I need to do, such as research for my dissertation, but I just do not have the energy or willpower to do so. I feel as though, third level students have been left to the wasteside in the midst of this pandemic, with very little support available to us. I feel very discouraged and a little hopeless at the thoughts of being at home for the foreseeable future. I am not one to wallow in self pity for long, so this post is my first step in trying to rectify the situation. In the next week or so, I should have an IGTV up, where I document my process. Here is the plan; I need to firstly establish a workspace for myself because I cannot work productively and then get a good quality of sleep, all within my bedroom. I have to separate the two. I want to create some structure to my day, that is to say, a loose routine. Wake up around 8:30am, have my morning to read, have breakfast and relax. Get dressed and go to my babysitting job. Come home, tidy up a little, and then dive into some research or college work, when my programme begins. Maybe I will give myself three hours of such work, a day. I may need more or less time, in practice. For the sake of planning, I will stick with this estimate. Following this, there are a number of activities I wish to do, after university work, by way of relaxing. Not every single one every day, but I think said activities in rotation, will prevent my days from becoming monotonous and give me something to look forward to each day. I will make daily and weekly lists, in order to schedule and divide up these activities. The activities are as follows;
This is my plan, see me implement it on my instagram stories and IGTV. I hope I succeed. I know this semester is going to be tough, but we will get through it together. I hope the tips, tricks and practices I pick up along the way, will be of some aid to you all. Thanks for reading, Rosie Hello everyone,Feminism can be defined as any of the following
When I was sixteen, this was my creed. I was a raging feminist. Looking back I feel like teenaged me thought she would change the world with her passionate classroom speeches and tumblr posts. There is nothing wrong with feminism as a concept. Actually, it is a very good concept and one I still support. However, I am no longer a feminist. Let me explain. Hello everyone,Music has always been a huge part of my life. There are songs which take me back in time when I hear them. Either to a specific moment or period of time. Others remind me of life experiences or lessons I have learned. Here are some of the songs which have shaped me and how I view the world.
The soundtrack to my life…. Uptown Girl - Billy Joel This song is the first song I have any memory of. According to my parents, whenever I heard it as a baby, I would start laughing and ‘talking’. Its got a great beat and its just a really fun song. Novels - Rusty Clanton (and dodie) This is my favourite song of all time. Specifically the duet version with dodie. This song brings me back to being fifteen and sitting under fairy lights, drinking tea and feeling peaceful. It is a beautifully written song and reminds me of a far simpler time. Hello everyone,Quarantine. A word we are all too familiar with. It is a time of reflection and that I have done. I have thought about how if this was 2017, I would have struggled to keep my mental health well. At that point, I found it very hard to find joy and constantly needed events to look forward to, in order to grasp any form of happiness. I am so grateful for the growth I have undergone between the age of 18 and 21. I now have the mental strength and tools to help me through the bad days, that I did not have three years ago. If you are struggling right now, you will get through this. I believe in you. In a situation with no real end in sight, I would have been a mess back then. Now, I have bad days. Today started out as a bad day actually. By the end of it, I was sat with only one college assignment left, eating popcorn and watching ‘normal people’. In this now very monotonous life, I’ve been keeping busy and here is how. Reading I have been trying to avoid going on my phone for the first hour or so after I wake up in the morning. I have been reading at least a chapter of whatever book I am reading each morning. I also read at other points of the day too, obviously. I think it is a good start to the day because I am both doing something for leisure but I also feel productive at the same time. As opposed to spending an hour scrolling on social media and news outlets, and seeing only negative news first thing in the morning. Doesn’t really set a good mood for the day, does it? I am documenting what books I have read, on instagram so check out the highlight 'books', if you're interested. Uni Work Admittedly, for the first two months of quarantine, up until this very point, I have been motivated by college work. My day was structured and navigated by assignments and deadlines. Quite frankly, I am not sure how I am going to occupy my time from now on and keep my mental health as trouble-free as it has been up to now. I am looking forward to having more time to read and write blog posts, but the never-ending lack of responsibilities is a bit daunting. Walking I have been going for a walk each morning before breakfast. Staying within the allowed distance from home, of course. The weather has been great and taking in fresh air and sun has helped boost my mood. It is also good to get out of the house because I didn’t do that for the first two weeks for quarantine and it effected my mood. I’ve also been spending a lot of time sitting in the garden, doing college work or reading. I know how privileged I am to have the opportunity to do this while in quarantine as I know it isn’t a possibility for everyone. Tik tok I told myself I wouldn’t but dammit I fell into the tik tok trap! I love the app and could scroll through it for hours on end. I must admit I do feel too old to be on it at times, and I am only 21!! In the midst of quarantine insanity, I’ve also started making tiktoks….but those will never be seen on the fyp, I can guarantee that! They are safely hidden. Tidying/cleaning/decluttering ‘Tidy space, tidy mind’ is a mantra which definitely describes how I live my life, in and out of quarantine. I find the process of tidying and decluttering very therapeutic and I also enjoy marveling in the aftermath. Feels like I’m cleansing my soul or something - sounds dramatic but it is true. Watching… Although for some reason, I cannot bring myself to binge-watch Netflix or endure any screen time really, I have been enjoying youtube. I have been watching mostly uni productivity videos and quarantine routines. My newest venture has been room tours as I’ve been looking for inspiration for my own. I have been watching ‘Normal People’ every week when two new episodes are released. I read the book and thoroughly enjoyed it and I have loved the television adaptation so far. I have been watching films some nights, however, I usually prefer to read or write. Two I would recommend are ‘all the bright places’ and ‘wonder’. I have been watching one or two episodes of ‘Gilmore girls’ every so often but all in all, Netflix has not been part of my quarantine survival kit Coffee Something which I have begun doing during quarantine is drink coffee. I never used to drink coffee and now I have it at least once a day. While Netflix is not in my survival kit, coffee is. Music During this lockdown, I have had far more time to play my various instruments and I have really enjoyed learning new pieces and revising old ones. I have also been listening to far more music and have made numerous playlists since this all began. Music is a lifesaver and I spend a lot of time playing the piano especially. Currently learning how to play ‘All too well’ by the one and only, Taylor Swift. Writing Thanks to quarantine and the fact my assignments have all been completed, I have plenty of time to write. Hopefully, I can bring out one post a week. I also have exciting ideas for Instagram which involve IGTV’s, which I have never done before. I was thinking of doing vlog-style videos of clips of my day, outfit videos and posting videos of me playing music, on the IGTV section of my Instagram. Essentially, it will become a mind -dump but you may be able to see a bit more of my personality and I am excited for that. I have to figure out how to edit videos to a certain degree, so if you do not see any of this materialise, it is because I couldn’t figure that out - let’s hope I do! See you all soon, Rosie
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